November 10, 2013 § Leave a comment

It’s the National Heroes’ Day in Indonesia today, and I would like to talk about how we are all forgetting to be our own heroes sometimes. Of course, before all that, I would like to say my appreciation and gratefulness to all the people who heroically made Indonesia such a country that we have today. It’s not perfect, definitely, but it’s here, it’s incredibly beautiful, and it’s ours. Thank you, national heroes.

Anyway! You know how life sucks? Yeah, it’s never a perfect ride. From day one of our lives, just by knowing our genitals, people have assumed the kind of lives we will be living. Oh that baby has a weenie so it’s gonna be a guy who’s physically really strong and works for the military! Oh that baby doesn’t have a weenie so it’s gonna be a girl who is going to be really gentle and a great mother! Don’t even think about the possibility of them having a gender not conforming to their biological sex, it’s not normal and it’s not gonna happen. And DEAR LORD of course they’re not gonna be gay, that’s wrong!

Ooh gosh okay, that’s probably a bit too much to start this posting with, but please bear with me for a bit.

We live in a world where there are norms in the society that just kind of predict how everyone’s life is going to be. When we finally find ourselves and realize that we are way more than just rules and regulations, they are going to look at us weird. Judgements are going to be everywhere and according to different standards that they have. Also, people are going to think that they are right because they know better, okay, you just shut up and do what they tell you to.

Not everybody is going to be like that, of course. I think more people of the younger generations have started to think clearly and see common sense. We have started to see the differences as just differences and not abnormalities, and accepted them, so it’s going to be a bit more bearable after this. But still, life just has to suck sometimes in definition, and what we can do is we can be our own heroes.

Now, don’t get this illusion that I know everything there is in life and I can dictate to you what it means to be your own hero, because I don’t, and I can’t. What I can tell you is that I think by holding on and staying strong through whatever is happening in your life right now, you are doing it perfectly: being your own hero. I understand that this ride called life is not smooth, and sometimes we just feel like stopping.

But you know what? We’re here! We’re still here and we’re fighting!

We have made mistakes. We have hurt people. People have made mistakes and they, too, have hurt us. Do we want this cycle to destroy us? No, we don’t. We want to learn from what has happened and become a better person. And for that, we are being heroes! I think we are doing awesome for having gone through a lot of things and still being here and seeing what today has got in store for us. I think we are fabulous for not giving up.

There are times that may make us feel like “Oh, this is too hard, I don’t know why I’m even bothering any more.” Don’t worry, I get that. But I also know that there are people out there who care about us. Try talking to our parents about what’s bothering us, or friends, or family members. Reaching out is not a sign of weakness, my friends: it’s a sign of strength. We don’t have to go through this thing called life alone because nobody can do that. Also, we’re not alone! It may be a bit hard to believe right now if we’re in a really tricky situation, but try to remember. There’s gotta be someone who cares (there is).

But when no one’s available, hey, no worries. There are wonderful people who will be there for us. Try befrienders.org for instance, they can be contacted through emails and phone calls, and we can even set up appointments for face-to-face meetings. They have helped me a lot, and I’m sure they can do the same for you. There are also other services that are available in your regions, look it up. We are not alone, and we can do this life thing brilliantly!

Okay, I hope this post isn’t as messy as it seems. But just remember to be your own hero, okay? We are all here right now, and we’re great. Also, there’s a quote by John Lennon that says “Everything is gonna be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.” And you know what, I think it’s totally true. Congratulations on still being here in this moment, you have done well. Good luck and have fun for the rest of the ride! We can do this!

Water and Truth

July 2, 2013 § 1 Comment

So, get this. We don’t actually need to drink 8 glasses of water every day.

Crazy, huh? All my life I have always believed that. My teachers told me that, my parents told me that, so it must have been legitimate, right? It must have been true. And even though I don’t always practice it, I have always thought that drinking 8 glasses of water per day brings you to a more healthy life.

So, that turns out to be a bluff by bottled water companies. Very smart. For their own benefits, they tell people what is seemingly good for their consumers’ health, but in all truths is just for them to spend money on bottled water.

It really makes me wonder: what other lies do we still believe in? Since advertising campaigns have become much more creative lately, I feel, I don’t think it is very hard for the people behind them to “create a new truth”. Something that we will believe and hold very strongly, because it sounds true and feels very personal, but in actuality is just something to inflate our consumerism.

Sometimes, I think people make too much compromise for their own benefits that is too unfair for others. Why do we do this? Why are we such egoist creatures? And for goodness’ sake, why do we instantly believe everything that we are told, without questioning the truth?

It’s weird that something that you feel is

June 28, 2013 § Leave a comment

It’s weird that something that you feel is so real doesn’t seem to be so for other people.

Take reading a book. You can relate to the main character so much that you can feel his pain, you smile when something good happens to him, you laugh when the best friend cracks a hilarious joke.

You find out that someone else has read it too, and before you can even say a word about how much you appreciate this book, the person goes all, “Yeah, that book’s so lame, right?”

And then you just can’t process what is going on. Is the fault with you? Is it with the book? Is it with the person? WHAT IS GOING ON?

Now, you just have to remember that people expect different things because they’ve gone through different experiences that shape their minds in different ways. There’s no two people who are exactly the same.

My Darkness and My Lights

April 13, 2013 § Leave a comment


For some reason that can be the desire for an adventure or one for your psyche’s development or any other, really, you find the exit door from your comfort zone and finally decide to step out of it.

Suddenly, you are in pitch darkness, and you are not sure what you are stepping on. It is very cold, too cold, but you don’t have anything to make yourself warm. There are voices, whispers, murmurs, yells, screams–words that you don’t understand. And you just stay there, alone, scared, but you can’t find the door to go back to where you were before anymore.

But you decide that staying here being overwhelmed by fear is not going to take you anywhere, so you stand up and wander, in hope that something, someone, will take notice of you and make sense of everything you have known once more, make the world okay again.

And then some lights approach you, and they take you with them, and you can feel their warmth, and you can smile again, and you understand the word friendship in a deeper sense now, along with warmth, and safety, and sense of belonging.

For me, the darkness was Malaysia and the lights were my friends. You know who you are, and I am very, very grateful to have known you. I swear without you guys I will still be that little shadow of a person cowering in fear, drowning in my tears, trying to go back to when I never had to try. So, thank you. Thank you for accepting me and being in my life. I love you guys.

This has been an appreciation post.

PS: Because getting sentimental over a nonsensical WhatsApp conversation with some of your friends is completely okay, okay.


March 26, 2013 § Leave a comment

Listening is an art. Very few people know how to master this art.

I think most of us don’t realize how important the listening part of a conversation is. What matters the most to us is what we want to say. Often, we listen with the intend to reply, or even to counter-argue; very rarely do we listen to what a person has to say with the intention of actually understanding the message.

I understand that listening requires much energy to focus and pay attention; which is why I think some of us are experts in pretending to be listening. With gentle nudges here and there (“okay”, “uh-huh”, “no way”) and some eye contact, TA-DA! The other person doesn’t even realize she is not being listened to. But then comes the question, “So what do you think?” And then you crumble because damn she’s going to find out that you weren’t paying attention.

I don’t like not being listened to when I’m talking. Maybe it has something to do with my low level of confidence or my egoistic tendencies, I don’t know. It just makes me feel like I’m not important enough when my partner-in-conversation doesn’t listen to me. When I realize this, I usually just stop talking abruptly. Sometimes they will notice, sometimes they won’t. And it really hurts to know that the other person doesn’t think I am worth the time and attention to be listened to.

I Fulfilled A Promise!

March 24, 2013 § Leave a comment

Sooo in this post (https://gitadine.wordpress.com/2011/12/12/talking/) a year or so ago I told you that I was going to make a video and upload it on YouTube, right?


In Which Nature Hates Gitadine

March 17, 2013 § Leave a comment

Nature probably hates me.

When I woke up at 8am today, the sun was shining gloriously and the clouds were, you know, doing things clouds do, if they do anything at all. So I decided, aha! This would be the perfect day to do my laundry!

So of course I continued laying on my bed in the company of my lovely phone and the Twitter application until around 10am when I decided to actually kick start my life for the day. I washed my clothes and my body (more commonly known as taking shower) and then proceeded to hanging my clothes confidently. After that, I ate corn flakes for breakfast (because calling it brunch is too mainstream) and updated my Indonesian blog and went to group meeting and replacement class (because replacement classes on Saturdays are fun). I don’t even know why I talk in parentheses so much.

So anyway, as soon as I walked out of class after it finished, I realized that all I had believed in was a lie. It rained. It rained during class. When I was most defenseless, it rained. My poor clothes that was supposed to had been beautifully dry was once again drenched.

So I figured, oh what the heck, nothing I could do about it. So I went to get food (for lunch and dinner–gosh Gita no more parentheses!) and when I was coming back it was already drizzling and I was like, gosh nature really does hate me. But it stopped as I was just reaching my dorm, so I was like, maybe it doesn’t really hate me, after all. It just loves teasing me.

I can’t believe I was so naive. After I ate half of my food and watched a couple of YouTube videos because what is life without YouTube videos, I involuntarily fell asleep. Guess what happened when I woke up an hour after that.


Okay not a hurricane per se, but a really heavy rain. As I realized what was happening, I just stood by the window staring at the rain drops consuming my going-to-be-dry clothes with my broken heart and a hint of tears in my eyes.

Nature hates me. About that, I am now sure.

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